In watching Olympic events, I realize I am not in the majority, or at least not in the flow. As I expressed it to my offspring and my larger family, I value the artistry of the Olympic performances and the judging seems to go to pure technique. I began to say, for ’sports’ they need to calculate specific techniques, and my journalist son, Kyle, pointed out that these are games not sports.
A central truth of performance management and performance evaluation is that people do what they are evaluated on. When we determine evaluation criteria intentionally we can expect the performance we are requesting.
It is simply my problem that I would like skaters and skiers to be evaluated based on their creativity, their interpretation, and their embodiment of music or concept. I guess nobody asked me. I noticed that the point system that the judges were using determined what activities the individual skaters and skiers were willing to undertake. A men’s skating performance that was a beautiful, coherent interpretaion of a particular piece of music was deemed of low value because very particular techniques were not present in it.
We can argue at length about the scoring system for the Olympics. The lesson here is that it is not dissimilar to what each of us goes through regularly in our own organizations.
And the lesson comes back loud and clear yet again. If it is really important to the organization, articulate it in the evaluation process. And also be very careful of everything else. Let us not unintentionally devalue other important contributions.
February 21st, 2010
The bamboo in my back yard bends before the force of the snow. The snow will melt someday. The bamboo will stand tall again and dance in the wind.
February 9th, 2010
I noticed with interest the recent flurry about Jon Stewart and some remarks he made on “The Daily Show”. I am intrigued that people are criticizing a comic for his apparent positions and actions, as though they are casting him in the role of a serious figure on the political and political commentary scene.
I recall in one show, a year ago or more, one of Mr. Stewart’s guests was challenging him because he should have, in the guest’s view, covered a particular event and Mr. Stewart replied, laughing and insistent, “This is not a news show. This is a comedy show.”
Is it so strange that some of our humorists have risen to a level of regard usually applied to thought leaders? What is humor that it can have power over us? Of course, not everything that passes for humor does have power. There are forms of purported humor that trade on vulgarity or on divisiveness and attack. I am speaking, though, of the kind of humor that helps us see real situations from other perspectives. It helps us hold two different views simultaneously and we laugh at the juxtaposition.
Perspective taking or reframing is actually the stuff of conflict resolution, of creativity and of leadership. When we can see a situation in a new way we have learned and we have new decision making power. It is an important part of the work I do. It is not so hard to see a kind of leadership in people who make these alternate perspectives public.
When perspective taking is applied to societal events it can become satire. Political and social satire has quite a venerable tradition. The 17th century French dramatist Moliere is considered a genius of the theater and his comedies were very popular in his day. Those plays are still produced in American theaters, enjoyable for their satires of society and human foibles. Overlapping Moliere’s life by a few years was that of clergyman Jonathan Swift, writing in the early 1700s in England. Swifts’ satires are still read throughout the English speaking world. He remains one of the great writers of English prose. Swift’s passionate sense of what was right led him to involvement in public affairs in addition to his satirical writing. In the US a current day satirist recently made the transition to public service, and is now a senator for the beautiful state of Minnesota.
So perhaps it is not such a recent or momentary development to ascribe some stature to our humorists who are satirists. I think, though, we make a mistake when we want to take them literally. Jonathan Swift did not identify with his character Gulliver. We also make a mistake when we expect them to espouse particular positions, as if they represent institutions.
The point of satire is not to be literal but to paint pictures from those other perspectives that help us ask questions and make discoveries. This brand of comic is not a lecturer, but a facilitator. The value is in the inquiry and in the meaning that we make of it.
February 1st, 2010
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I read with interest an article in the Washington Post today about D.C. teachers who have won national certification. Judy Leak-Bowes, a talented teacher, says the program “made me more of a facilitator than a dictator. You give students the room they need to make an investment in their education.”
This interested me because of its strong resonance with my earlier training to teach, back in the 60s. And it interested me because of my current profession, as facilitator of group experiences, learning, visioning, planning in work settings. This work is all about creating the space in which people can learn. And it is about encouraging inquiry more than advocacy.
Many people feel compelled in their professional lives to be confident, competent, persuasive, strong. In doing so, they often feel they must be in an advocacy role, telling, “dictating” in Leak-Bowes phrase for old classroom habits. There is certainly a place for advocacy. But if it is all advocacy without inquiry then little learning is taking place, either on the part of those getting talked at or on the part of the advocate.
Learning occurs when minds are open, when we wonder what possibilities are out there, when we entertain the ideas that seemed dissonant or jarring on first hearing. In organizations, learning occurs when it is safe to question and to explore, just as in Leak-Bowes classroom.
I commend to you a book that supports individual inquiry. It is a short, easy read in narrative form, Change Your Questions Change Your Life, by Marilee G. Adams, Berrett Kohler. In it, we experience the journey to be a Learner rather than a Judger, and we learn questions that can alter the path of that journey. “What assumptions am I making?” “How else can I think about this situation?” “What is the other person thinking, feeling, needing, and wanting?”
In supporting our own learning we support each other’s learning, too.
January 11th, 2010
Over the holidays, my family and I went to see “Young Frankenstein” the musical on stage at the Kennedy Center. I know, not a traditional holiday favorite, but my kids have been gown up for many years now and enjoy Mel Brooks’ style of humor as do I. We enjoyed the show. We laughed a lot. We were all glad we went.
This is not a plug for the play, but rather a comment on our experience vs. the experience I was afraid we would have once I started reading the reviews that came out after I bought the tickets. The best recommendation “The Washington Post” could give it was a definite maybe. The critics thought it wasn’t much of a musical. I was concerned.
In fact, had I acted more slowly, read the reviews, then decided whether to buy tickets, I might not have done it. And we would have missed a fun evening together. Ah, the power of critics. But the power is not inherent in them; we give them that power.
I have been thinking about my inner critic. How much power have I given that critic who thinks an idea of mine is not that valuable or a venture is not worth embarking on, maybe doomed to failure? It makes sense to make decisions about attending the theater by consulting several sources, balancing a critic’s quotes with what we know of the author or producer and what we know of our own enjoyments. It makes just as much sense to marshal some other sources and forces when the inner critic does its work. Giving in too easily to that voice is what we sometimes call a lack of courage.
In the motivational terms of Reversal Theory, it is helpful to equip oneself with the protective shield of past successes and focus on the present, on the process, one step at a time. Looking too far ahead can be daunting and allows us to conjure up negative pictures and anxiety.
My New Year’s gift to myself is a fresh perspective and awareness of possibilities that will help me balance my inner critic and take new steps, perhaps even be daring.
January 5th, 2010
Great advice sometimes hides in common glib expressions. ‘Take a deep breath’ is one I remember from my childhood, and that was quite a long time ago. ‘Take a moment’ is another. There was even a soft drink slogan about a ‘pause that refreshes.’ Funny thing is, they are all great words of advice.
When I recommend deep breaths to my clients they usually attest that it is something that has worked for them and they needed the reminder to pay attention to breathing more often. In attending to breath we are truly present in the moment. In having a group of people all take a breath together we establish some synchrony in the group. And yet, breath is even more powerful than that. I learned a deep breathing technique in which I coordinate my heart beat to the count of my inhalations and exhalations from the Bairs of the Institute for Applied Meditation. I recently had occasion to use it for a specific purpose and surprised myself.
I had been looking for a while for an object of identification that I had lost, I thought inside my house. My search for it took on urgency this week and I tore my house apart looking in unlikely places after I searched the likely places, all the while convinced that I knew the last time I had carried it with me. Exhausted and agitated I decide to take my advice and calm myself. I used my heart rhythm meditation holding the image of my ID in my mind while I counted my breaths and gradually the circumstances came to me of the true last time I had carried it. I walked to one of my bags and unzipped the little outer pocket and there was my lost object.
Today I was pleased to see taking a pause recommended for organizations, as well. I was reading a white paper from the Center for Creative Leadership, Transforming Your Organization by John McGuire, Charles Palus, William Pasmore and Gary Rhodes. Among the many interesting observations and recommendations was one technique that organizations can use in encouraging a culture of agility and flexibility and that is taking a collective pause. They say “slowing down to power up” is essential in leading change because it allows the opportunity to discover and address the underlying beliefs and assumptions of the current situation, and address “challenges at a root level.”
The pause, the breath, is a wonderful back to basics technique for centering, refreshing, discovering and new purposeful action.
December 11th, 2009
As with many people, I woke up today thinking about Thanksgiving and giving thanks. I was thinking that here in Arlington, Virginia and with people I know directly that first Thanksgiving is very remote. The people who gave thanks at that time are not people I can recognize as my forbears. My ancestors from their several strains all arrived long after that, looking for a land of bounty and freedom.
Gratitude for bounty is certainly a point of resonance, and something that I feel deeply. The bounty that my family experiences is beyond the imagining of those first celebrants. Let us hope that our gratitude combines with our wishes for sufficiency for people struggling everywhere and our meager efforts to lend a hand, creating a wave that will be felt elsewhere.
I also think of the peril of earlier times. Our perils today are different, but no less real. As I think of the people who will be gathered today for Thanksgiving and of other loved ones who will not be with us in person, I am grateful beyond measure for the community that supports me and the people dear to me through our own perils.
In the background I am listening to Jay Winter Nightwolf, a native American, and his radio program. He carries the message of the beauty of many of the native ways, and also the message that many native Americans are far from experiencing bounty and live in real peril. Awareness is the first step to action.
I am feeling full to the brim with love and connectedness and support. I can reach out in many directions and find people about whom I care deeply and who care about me. Letting our sense of abundance and love flow from us to the people we touch is no doubt the greatest gift we can give and our greatest expression of thanks.
November 26th, 2009
One month ago today my father died. An amazing number of people reached out to me with great kindness. This is not a discussion of the death of a loved one, rather a sharing of my discovery of love and support from those who care.
As condolence after sympathy after loving wish came in to me I began to feel them weaving together into a fabric that folded around me. This cloak of love became an insulation providing me time and space for my grief. It was a wonderful experience that truly helped me with the process.
Of course I could not have had this experience without telling some people about his death. I needed to allow people to know, to be open and vulnerable to that extent in order to receive their caring.
I am reminded of Abbey Lincoln’s song “Throw It Away”. “Throw it away. Give your life, give your love each and every day. Keep your hand wide open, let the sunshine through. You can never lose a thing if it belongs to you.”
I have greater appreciation than ever for the love and generosity of my friends. And deep gratitude. I responded to each kindness I received to complete the circle of love.
November 19th, 2009
I have just had the privilege and expansive experience of being the mother of the groom in a joyous wedding.
I suppose all weddings are joyous. Yet, with these two, each is so warm and caring and generous that they make a very special couple. The many observations and wishes that day attested to this. Everyone was saying they are a wonderful couple.
I was surprised at the many thank yous that were extended to me. I did not know that people would thank me for being allowed to be at the celebration, especially people I had not previously known well. And, of course, the bride and groom created the guest list as well as all the plans.
I came to appreciate that allowing people to participate in the joyful experience is a gift to them. Just as their participation is a gift to us.
Many times I have heard people speculating about wedding celebrations and wondering if whatever the cost of a large gathering might be better directed to enhancing the new couple’s life together after the wedding. That is a practical suggestion that ignores completely the value of community. My experience was that the joy felt in the community of celebrants magnified and reflected back the joy of the couple and the families.
I was asked to make the welcome to celebrants at the reception. My key message to the gathered well wishers was: Today we are all a family, joined in our joy at this new marriage and our pledge of support for this new couple.
Unity and community are felt deeply at emotional times. What would it be like to recognize and feel them deeply at all times? And to accept the resonance that others bring to what we are feeling?
November 18th, 2009
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