Being the Future: creativefacilitating.com Blog

Community and Joy

November 18th, 2009

I have just had the privilege and expansive experience of being the mother of the groom in a joyous wedding.

I suppose all weddings are joyous. Yet, with these two, each is so warm and caring and generous that they make a very special couple. The many observations and wishes that day attested to this. Everyone was saying they are a wonderful couple.

I was surprised at the many thank yous that were extended to me. I did not know that people would thank me for being allowed to be at the celebration, especially people I had not previously known well. And, of course, the bride and groom created the guest list as well as all the plans.

I came to appreciate that allowing people to participate in the joyful experience is a gift to them. Just as their participation is a gift to us.

Many times I have heard people speculating about wedding celebrations and wondering if whatever the cost of a large gathering might be better directed to enhancing the new couple’s life together after the wedding. That is a practical suggestion that ignores completely the value of community. My experience was that the joy felt in the community of celebrants magnified and reflected back the joy of the couple and the families.

I was asked to make the welcome to celebrants at the reception. My key message to the gathered well wishers was: Today we are all a family, joined in our joy at this new marriage and our pledge of support for this new couple.

Unity and community are felt deeply at emotional times. What would it be like to recognize and feel them deeply at all times? And to accept the resonance that others bring to what we are feeling?

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